I am bisexual.
It’s taken a long time to come to terms with this.
In life we often face choices. Our choices determine what we do, and our happiness, sometimes even affecting those around us. I’ve never been good at making choices and I’ve learned there are times when that’s okay.
According to Statistics Canada, as of 2018, four per cent of the population aged 15 and older are members of the LGBTQ+ community, including 332,000 bisexual women.
Those who identify as bisexual feel a sexual and/or romantic attraction to people of a different gender as well as their own. A fairly basic definition, but not all encompassing.
The “bisexual community” includes those who identify as bisexual, pansexual/omnisexual, biromantic, polysexual, or sexually fluid.
As a kid, I was closed off from the world, yet, I’ve always known I was bisexual but never had the words to define it. I was taught that girls like boys and boys like girls.
This made my life confusing because I always thought something was wrong with me since I wasn’t following the path society laid out for me.
“Who do you have a crush on,” a girl in my class asked me in middle school.
She was crushing on the boy every other girl had a crush on. Little did she know I was crushing on her. I’d never admit that at the time, so I picked a random boy that ran past me.
As I grew older, I became familiar with the gay community after a girl I knew came out as a lesbian. Her bravery brought me hope.
That was until I watched the other girls isolate her, fear her, and make fun of her. They turned her into a pariah.
After that, I quickly forgot about coming clean about who I was. I couldn’t. I already had a hard time connecting with people since I wasn’t very social. I couldn’t risk losing the few people I had.
In high school, I had my first boyfriend. Having someone to share my love with made me happy, but I was now more confused than ever.
I thought I only liked girls, but I was dating a boy. My mind was racing in all directions, I was unsure of what to do. So I left him.
Was I straight, was I gay? I could never make a choice. Then I found out what bisexuality was, and that was one of the best days of my life.
One label became an answer to all of my uncertainty.
Though I’m glad I found a term to define myself, it’s not without confusion. Especially when society is constantly pushing you to pick a side. Neither side fits you, so you’re stuck in a void between them both.
You’re not gay enough for the gay community, but you’re not straight either. This causes biphobia, prejudice, fear, or hatred directed toward bisexual people. It’s the use of myths and stereotypes that undermine bisexual legitimacy.
The most common stereotype I’ve heard is that people believe bisexuals are more likely to cheat. Another is “bisexuality is a phase” or “bi people are greedy.” These stereotypes and assumptions occur both within and outside of the LGBTQ+ community.
These statements are hurtful because they judge bisexuals’ character solely on their sexuality.
Now I have a boyfriend who I’ve been dating for two years. Many people assumed my attraction to women was just a phase. However, even though I’m in love with a man, that doesn’t mean I am no longer bisexual.
I will always be bisexual regardless of who I’m with.
In the end, love is love and who someone’s with shouldn’t matter as long as they’re happy.